B l a c k M o o n

Whew! As if this liminal time between the winter holidays and the end of the year wasn't charged enough with anticipation and reflection, we find ourselves beneath a black moon, the second new moon of this month. The feeling of intense stillness, of waiting for some slow but great change to begin, feels almost electric. I can't help but compare it to the sensation right before a big thunderstorm. Like you can almost feel the air hugging you and filling your ears.

Sometimes when I meditate, I put on an eye-mask and my earplugs, and I love the feeling of the silence and the darkness. It's so tangible and overwhelmingly present - even your breaths feel more dense and full. That is how this time of year feels to me. Grounding but powerful.

I know for me personally, this year has been a doozy. When I look back over the last 12 months, I feel like a decade has passed. I don't know that I have ever encountered so many personal obstacles, one after another, in my life. The amount of growth and change (some of which I participated in willingly, some not so much) that occurred is very intense for me to think about. In the moment, I was NOT having a good time but looking back, I am so incredibly proud. And I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that it is really hard to admit that we are proud of ourselves, it feels icky. But, as I sit in this reflective time and think back over the lessons of the last year, I know in my heart that I am a better, more authentic version of myself now.

One big thing I have learned from this year, is to trust my instincts and my intuition more. Imposter syndrome in a real thing, and whether were talking about parenting, or our jobs, or a hobby we participate in, it is so easy to discredit and second guess ourselves because of what other people and the media and social platforms are saying. In a time with so much noise and unnecessary, extraneous pressure, it can be easy to lose your voice and your focus on whats truly important. I think because I was forced to so critically pick and choose where my energy went this year, I was almost cornered into letting go of literally everything that did not serve me and my families best interest. And when I think about it now, I am so thankful for this hard and shitty year, because I am 100 times better for it. So, I hope that if you are in a time that feels dark and impossible, that you know its okay to cut out the bullshit and do what you need to survive. Because the things you are left with, are truly the only things that matter. Those glimmers and moments of mindfulness and clarity are what make life worth living!

Find joy in the small everyday moments with your friends and family. Embrace stillness and accept that you are not a one dimensional, cardboard cut out. You contain multitudes, and each and every part of yourself deserves to be recognized and given compassion. Leave the dishes in the sink! They will be there in the morning. Read that extra bedtime story to your kiddos and let them tell potty jokes until they are cry-laughing. Take up a completely random new hobby that you've always wanted to try. Tell your people you love them! Foster a dog or a cat or a pig! Tell a parent with a screaming kid in the grocery store that they are doing a great job. Check in on your friends and family regularly even if its just to say hi. Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past and give yourself grace when you feel your inner critic start to get her pants in a twist. Start a garden. Let your grass die and cover your lawn with so many native plants that you get a letter from the HOA.

I don't have a resolution for this new year, but I do have a petition to shout out to the universe:

May we as a whole, work towards a more compassionate, sustainable, and equitable future. In a time when becoming jaded and angry would be the easy way out, I hope we can instead turn those feeling into actions (however small) that create a catalyst for change and growth. May each choice we make go towards the betterment of our world, one baby step at a time. When we are met with resistance and vitriol, may we swoop around that negativity like water going around a rock in a stream. Where there is hurt and pain and darkness, may we shed light and awareness and aid. Let us speak up for the voiceless and show our children that there is still hope and beauty and kindness in our world.

With that, I say goodbye to 2024, and look towards 2025 with the intention of continuing to nurture, and grow, and create wherever I can, and I hope you will do the same.